


find me a find, catch me a catch

by PaleRose



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asking Out, Athn thinks they're match makers, Getting Together, M/M, Osamu falls prey to their antics, Phone Conversations, Pre-Osaaka, Some Atsuhina on the side, awkward moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaleRose/pseuds/PaleRose
Summary: Atsumu and Hinata really have no business sticking their noses in other people’s romantic affairs, yet when it comes to his own love life, Osamu humors the idiots-in-love and lets their speculations fly. It hasn't caused any harm... Yet.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Miya Osamu, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu
Comments: 30
Kudos: 141





	find me a find, catch me a catch

Visiting Hinata and Atsumu is a mistake. Ever since they set up Aran and Yachi on a date, they’ve been on this weird matchmaking kick. Apparently, they are experts in love, and with their powers combined, they can sense the early warning signs of sparks about to fly from kilometers away. Osamu knows their whole act is actually a load of horse shit, considering it took those volleyball idiots nearly seven years to confess their own mutual feelings of attraction. He never fails to drop reminders of this fact whenever Atsumu gets particularly smug about how he is “Aran’s favorite friend,” because he “helped him get his dick wet.” 

Again, what a load of horse shit. 

Atsumu and Hinata really have no business sticking their noses in other people’s romantic affairs, yet when it comes to his own love life, Osamu humors the idiots-in-love and lets their speculations fly. It doesn’t cause any harm, since Osamu doesn’t have any time to date anyone, now that he’s set on opening a Tokyo branch of Onigiri Miya. But the ever-persistent Atsumu and Hinata see his business expansion as a golden opportunity to put out feelers in Tokyo—the perfect excuse to meddle. 

“So… Ya goin’ out to see anyone else tonight?” Atsumu says, not even two minutes into Osamu’s visit to the MSBY dorms. They’ve invited him over to make (and taste test) some new onigiri recipes for the Tokyo branch’s menu.

“Yeah, you got any special plans?” Hinata chimes in from the kitchen’s island bar, where he sits with a cheeky grin and his head in his hands. 

Osamu places the canvas grocery bag on the island’s counter and sighs, taking off his baseball cap and wiping sweat from his brow. “It’s nice to see you both, too,” he says dryly. He should’ve known the dynamic matchmaking duo would be itching to play their game the second he walked through the door. 

“Aw, don’t be like that, ‘Samu! Ya know we only wanna help ya out!” Atsumu says with big puppy-dog eyes and a quivering lip as he scampers over to stand uncomfortably close by his brother, shoulder to shoulder. 

“Yeah, we really think you should consider your options! Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor!” Hinata joins his boyfriend in the dramatics, looking even more pathetic with his glossy stare. 

  
  


“Where did you get that one? A fortune cookie?” Osamu asks, with a raised eyebrow and hands on his hips. He makes sure to side-step away from his twin, who is clearly up to no good. 

“It’s actually from a musical, but that's not important! What matters is, you’re wasting your time visiting  _ us _ when you could be out on a date with Akaashi-kun!” 

Ah yes—Akaashi. 

It had all started after the MSBY vs. Adler’s match. Once the duo caught wind of Osamu’s chance encounter with a certain Fukurodani graduate—who happens to be living in Tokyo (and currently  _ just so happens _ to be in Kyoto for the week on a business trip)—Akaashi became the new apparent match for Osamu. 

“You two are obviously meant for each other! So hardworking and goal oriented!” Hinata had said, the night after the game. 

“Yeah, and yer both stubborn as shit!” Atsumu so eloquently added, earning him a swift smack to the head. 

Be that as it may, Osamu had made it perfectly clear to them then that he had no time to date and, unfortunately, has to do it again now. 

“I don’t think the two of ya realize how silly ya sound right now. Even if I did want to start datin’ Akaashi, I have next to no time to dedicate to a relationship. That wouldn’t be fair to him, now, would it?” Osamu points out as he starts to remove ingredients from the shopping bag—a tin of rice, fatty tuna in a small bento, seaweed sheets—the works. 

Hinata and Atsumu look at each other, frowning, and then back at Osamu. “I guess not,” they say in unison, defeated. 

“Yer lucky I’m here to make yer sorry asses dinner,” Osamu adds, using the sesame shaker to point at them both, “and besides, I wouldn’t even know what to say to ask him out on a date in the first place.”

The comment gives Atsumu and Hinata pause—they share curled smiles and a sneaky glance. 

“‘Samu, I’m hurt ya’d think we’d leave you high and dry, makin’ ya try and court Akaashi all on your own!” Atsumu sobs, clutching a fist to his chest like they’re in a K-Drama or some shit. 

Hinata rises from his seat and rushes to stand next to Atsumu, bringing him into an all-encompassing hug and rubbing their cheeks together—an absolutely gross demonstration of PDA that makes Osamu roll his eyes. “There, there, ‘Tsumu. I’m sure Osamu knows we would be willing to help him in his quest to win Akaashi’s heart.” 

“You think?” Atsumu sniffles and nuzzles his boyfriend right back. Would it be in bad taste to just leave them with all the ingredients to fend for themselves? Probably. Atsumu can’t cook for shit and Hinata usually just eats all the ingredients he can without getting sick before they’re even added to the recipe. Honestly, they deserve it, for being so persistent in meddling. 

“Of course! And as it turns out, I happen to have Akaashi’s cell number.” Hinata’s tone is too sweet for Osamu’s taste; something is not right. 

“Oh, you do? Well,  _ I  _ just so happen to have Osamu’s cell phone, and know his passcode!” Atsumu holds up a black iPhone and shakes it with a triumphant grin. 

Osamu immediately taps his back left pocket and feels his stomach drop at the lack of a phone shape in it. 

“What the fuck?” Osamu gawks and lunges towards his twin—that no-good pick-pocket is going to pay. Unfortunately for Osamu, Hinata is already one step ahead—releasing Atsumu and lunging to the side to receive Osamu’s already-unlocked cellphone as it’s tossed to him. Osamu may have collided with his brother and put him in a choke hold, but Hinata is already punching in Akaashi’s cell number. 

No wonder he’s the number one receiver in Japan. 

“This is for your own good!” Hinata shouts, pressing the call button, and tossing Osamu’s cellphone back to him. 

Osamu barely catches his phone (shoving his brother to the ground so his phone doesn’t shatter) when Akaashi’s voice comes through the other end of the line in a confused “Hello?” 

“I can’t do this!” Osamu hisses, covering the microphone. 

“Just get on the damn phone!” Atsumu hisses right back. 

“Say, ‘Yo! It’s Osamu, Atsumu’s twin, whaddup?’” Hinata urges with a thumbs up. 

Osamu grimaces, but brings his phone back up to his ear. He’s in too deep now, might as well get this over with. “Yo… It’s Osamu, uh, Atsumu’s twin. Whaddup?” 

There’s a pause, then some hushed murmuring.

“Oh, hi. You actually just caught me getting dressed.” 

“What’s he saying!?” Hinata asks, as he helps Atsumu up from the ground. 

Osamu doesn’t want to tell Atsumu and Hinata that he caught Akaashi in the midst of changing clothes, but for some reason, the truth slips from his lips—much to his chagrin and the idiots’ delight. No good can come from divulging that information to them. 

“Oh, hell yeah, this is perfect. You’re gonna find yourself with a mouth full of Akaashi in no time!” Atsumu smirks, rubbing his hands together excitedly, clearly plotting some dubious scheme to make his statement a reality. 

“No! I can just call back later.” Osamu protests, trying his best to not focus on the image that popped into his head—an almost too accurate portrayal of what taking a mouth full of Akaashi would look like. He really shouldn’t be doing this, he barely knows Akaashi. They’ve literally shared a grand total of one conversation. Sure, they saw each other at Nationals in high school, but Osamu never gave Akaashi much thought. Other than the surface level ‘ _ yeah, he probably could get it, and I may, kind of, want it’  _ thoughts. Osamu never acted on them. He always just assumed the setter was with Bokuto. And he was, at one point. Not anymore, though. 

“Are you insane!? Just get back on the phone, we’ve got your back!” Atsumu grabs Osamu’s wrist and shoves the phone back to his ear. He leans in close so he can eavesdrop without interrupting. 

“You gotta say, ‘Wow, you going somewhere special?’” Hinata instructs and huddles close to him and Atsumu so he can hear the conversation as well. 

“Wow, ya goin’ somewhere special?” Osamu says into his phone, the uncertainty clear in his voice. 

“I could be. You want to know what I’m wearing?” Akaashi says. 

“Say yes!” Atsumu and Hinata urge at the same time.

“Sure,” Osamu gulps, waiting and partially dreading Akaashi’s answer. 

“I’ve got my glasses on, some new, tight jeans and a… A bitchin’ pink button down that shows off my pecs,” Akaashi sighs, sounding almost withdrawn, like he’s being coerced into this conversation, too. 

Huh. 

“Peep at how he said tight!” Hinata snickers and gives Osamu a playful nudge to the shoulder. 

Atsumu nods and grips Osamu’s shoulders to shake him from side to side. “And his pecs! He wants ya to ask about his body ‘Samu, ask about his ass!” 

“Would ya both just shut-up! I’m not askin’ about his ass! Y’all are doin’ the opposite of helpin’ right now,” Osamu seethes, swatting Atsumu and Hinata away. He really doesn’t want to shout, but god damn, he can’t deal with the direction this conversation is going. Osamu isn’t  _ that  _ type of guy, and he doesn’t want Akaashi—whether he’s trying to score a date or not—to think he is  _ that  _ type of guy. 

“Is everything okay?” Akaashi asks, concerned. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Osamu says as he walks across the room, far away from the bad-idea duo. He’s better off on his own. “Listen, I heard ya were in town for the week and I was wonderin’ if ya would want to get some coffee? Maybe tomorrow?” 

Another pause. 

“Yeah, I’d really like that,” Akaashi says softly. 

“Yeah?” Osamu feels his lips twitch into a smile. How about that? Looks like he’s just fine without the matchmakers. 

“Mhm, does Wednesday at noon work for you?” Akaashi confirms.

“Y-yeah, I can do that, no problem. Come by my shop and we can go from there. Ya know where the shop is?” Osamu starts to ramble, ignoring the fluttering in his chest. They’re just getting coffee, super casual. Nothing to get excited over. 

“I think I can look it up... thanks, though. I’ll see you then?” 

“See ya then,” Osamu says before he hangs up. 

“Did ya just hang up without sayin’ goodbye!?” Atsumu groans from the other side of the room, pulling down the skin of his cheeks in anguish. 

“And you were doing so well on your own,” Hinata shakes his head. 

“You’ll be lucky if Akaashi shows up to your date!”

Osamu rolls his eyes. “It’s not a date, we’re just getting coffee.” 

Atsumu and Hinata exchange another set of smirks and side eye glances with each other. 

“Sure, ‘Samu,” they say.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you kaki for such a wonderful prompt! I'm so happy you were my giveaway winner and I hope you enjoy this fic. Also if you know what scene from what movie this fic is referencing, I'll gift you a 500 word drabble. If you like what you read, please consider giving this fic a kudo or comment. You can also support the fic by [sharing this post](https://twitter.com/palerosetweets/status/1333173342682181634?s=20) on twitter!


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